A valid question though I have to admit it kinda gets my back up a bit. Given the rudeness and crap I have gotten for expressing what attracts me on a few dating sites, and networking sites. (Like Plentyoffish and Myspace.)
Are you looking for a Heterosexual dynamic? Umm. No. If I were looking for that, then I would be actively looking to date a man.
So, then….why people that ID as masculine? I like masculine energy. Not so much the dominance, (though yes, that IS a trigger!) lol…I don’t know if I can satisfactorily put it into words. but here are a few examples: a butch that ID’s as a boi/boy, that boyish mentality or personality, kind of carefree, maybe silly at times,(after all, I can be quite girlish, and have ID’d as being a little.) rough and tumbly. Likes to burp or armpit farts. Or playing catch in the yard/shooting hoops in the driveway.
A Butch Female/Trans Male Top/Dom that has a certain look down pat. Alot of bottoms and submissives who are experienced know what look I mean. That “I’m gonna eat you up, with a spoon” look or the “Mmm baby, just wait til we’re alone” look. ( Now see, just writing about this is getting me wet!) The voice whispering naughty (or sometimes, not even naughty.) things in my ear. A hand caressing my throat just before breath play, or lifting my chin so I could look into their eyes.
But…..switchy, any Dominant could do that……
Generally, I’d agree with you. But, not just anyone makes me wet, or my pulse race, makes my thoughts scatter or disapear from my brain. No…for me kinkyness isn’t all or mostly about sex,sexuality, or getting wet. (snickers) After all I have a couple of friends, that regardless of gender I enjoy bottoming to, like for a flogging or spanking, or bondage. (well ok, these are male friends, but open to being topped by any gender/gender presentation.) But, when it comes to dating, and to D/s relationship, I do prefer the above…(Butch Female and Trans Male, in case ya weren’t paying attention.) I was discussing with my sweetie just last nite about the concept of a D/s relationship that did not have a sexual componant. (like based on service aspects.) Generally, this appeals to me, on both ends. But I did say that I couldn’t be in a non sexual D/s relationship with someone that I wanted to be sexual with. That would be torture of the bad kind.
Maybe an occasional session of being teased, sexually..verbally, and/or with toys, sm aspects, That I could enjoy. Now, being the top/Dom in a session or relationship and teasing, never intending to deliver, lol. YES! I admit it, I looooooooove being a tease. Some aspects of cuckolding appeal to me. Yes, on both ends. Though, like I’ve hinted at above, I don’t think I would be able to handle long periods of being denied getting off. But, then….who knows what I would be able to handle? After all, there are many things I have tried that I didn’t think I would like, like flogging. Other things I thought I would love…..ehh. so-so.
Alot of people only do what they get something out of it. Getting wet/hard is the most common. Especially if they are able to get off eventually.
But, (for me, anyways) What I get out of being submissive, is turning over the control to my Dom/Daddy. Of feeling safe, protected, loved,cherished. Of Daddy being firm with me, reminding me, that they, not me is the one in charge. They make the final decision. What I get out of topping, is (sometimes.) it is from a service aspect. usually to my sweetie, or to a friend. I am doing something they want me to do, that they crave, desire. Often times, even though I may be the one holding the flogger, it is the bottom that holds the control. Directing me to hit harder, go faster. Or not. But, also relishing the potential control I have over that person. For pleasure or for pain…hopefully both.
LOL. As usual….this post became rambly. *Giggles*