Monthly Archives: September 2010

MY Religious Beliefs


Alrighty…If you read thru my website, pretty good chance you would have come across to the fact that I am a pagan. What….you missed it?! Damn, how observant are you? lol….I guess it is technically possible that someone could have missed it. Well if your reading this, pretty good chance you know now….right?

What was that? Oh, what’s a pagan? Google it. Not being sarcastic, just don’t want to get into the whole definition debate about what the word actually means.

Okok, since your begging me, here is my explanation: Paganism is an umbrella term, with a whole shit load of stuff shoved under it, regardless if it has direct correlation to Paganism or not. (ie: like New Age, alot of people associate Paganism with New Age, when in reality the 2 have little in common, depending on your perspective, of course. Not disparaging New Age…When I started on my path to Paganism, I started with New Age, and am still into it.)

LOL. I see by the perplexed look on your face that you are more confused then before. Sorry, sometimes I tend to ramble.  What can be included under the umbrella, (but not limited to, in case I forgot something.) is Wicca, other various forms of Witchcraft,(though some who are involved Brujeria, or Santeria, or Voudoun,etc. choose not to associate themselves with us, for various reasons, I do not fault them for this. At any rate, best to not include said groups in the listing of Pagan umbrella terms.) also various reform/reconstructionistic paths, such as Druidism, Hellenism, most seem to be ok with being associated with the overall Pagan umbrella.

Yeah, there really isn’t a set of rules that everyone follows, and if there are any rules at all, it has more to do with possible rules for a gathering, or a website (which of course is different for every group.)

Ok, look if your still confused…just google it. Spend as much time as you want in figuring it out, then come back to this if you like.

Now, on to my personal beliefs: I am actually more inclined to call myself Spiritual, instead of Pagan. Not because I am uncomfortable with the word, but it doesn’t feel accurate. Or more specifically, I like saying: Spiritual with Paganistic tendencies.  I believe, (at the very least.) that there is a higher power. I believe that things,objects around me (potentially) have a sentient life inside.  I also believe in the life of the elements.  Beyond that…it gets murky for me. For the longest time I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of a specific Deity,(more of the archetypes, of 1 God, 1 Goddess.) But…I am no longer sure this is the right path for me.  I have been feeling the need to seek this out….to see if there is more then 1.

I suspect…there is truth in both. I mean we are talking about beings of higher power then mere mortals, who knows what they are capable of? Who are we to try to limit them with our religions?(sorry, that has become one of my petpeeves with religion.)  I definately believe that who ever is the one(s) that created us, they don’t really care what we believe, overall.

I also believe in otherworld beings, such as angels. There have been times where I felt the presence of another being, but in a room that appeared empty. Sometimes, the being near me I can only describe as angelic, for they were of such purity.   I have been learning to see past certain perceptions though…though haven’t personally felt,(though could be wrong.) any being of a demonic nature, I have heard of people who have…and they don’t seem to be what exactly they have been portrayed by the Judaic-Christian way of thinking.  Interestingly enough, the line between Angels and Demons seem to be fairly thin.  Both are equally appealing to me for various reasons.

I might post more on this later………………………….

Daddy….where are you?!


The desire to be in a Daddy/lg relationship is such a strong one for me.  It is a conflicting one for me though.  Unlike alot of people who desire similiar type of relationships, I have a good relationship with my Father. If we were to run with that theory…it would more likely be that I would look for a Mommy, as I didn’t have a good relationship with my Mother, growing up. And even though we have a better one now, it still isn’t that great.  But, even though it does tweak me alittle, most of the time it doesn’t bother me, as I like to tell myself: This Isn’t Incest Play. 

I have been trying to avoid coming up with a specific image of what I would like Daddy to be.   Been thinking about it more and more though, namely because I’ve been thinking of doing a collage spell.  Basically it is a non specific (not directed to particular person, but rather to a particular type of person.) attraction/love spell.  I have gotten as far as a list of words/aspects, and culling thru my meager collection of scrapbook stuff and cutouts from magazines to see what I could use.

Butch Female/Trans Male Dominant/Switch or Dominant Masochist BDSM Inclined Polyamorous Inclined Pagan Friendly Paganistic Beliefs Unitarian Universalist Friendly Age Range 35-55 In between Being A Homebody And A Social Butterfly Likes To Read Likes Handholding In Public Loves Animals….

The above is just some of the words/concepts I’ve been thinking of.   Poster board, maybe writing most/all the wording on folded cards,(maybe with an velcro strip, to make sure it stays closed?  I both want to just go hog wild with colors, and all that, but another part of me also wants to stick with the colors of my bedroom, sea greens and blues, brown, purple, white.  Got this neat looking paper, it is full of swirls and shapes, with areas cut out in it. Hard to explain…but it’s cool.  I’ve thought about getting that in white and sponging different colors,(like ethier the rainbow colors, or the bedroom colors.) And using that as my background. (Probably will ethier get poster board that is light blue, or green, or paint it one color.)

You maybe thinking to yourself, isn’t this going over board for just attracting a mate? I mean after all, Magick is about INTENT, not about how much $$ you can spend on materials for a spell.  Ok….true.  But I will probably do all this anyways,  it is both about the seriousness that I am treating this project and about the fun in being creative and including magickal aspects.

Spell Definition:  A spell is a spoken or written formula that when used in an act of magick is intended to cause or influence a particular course of events

But…..wouldn’t that be manipulation? Wouldn’t that be changing/trying to change someone’s will?  Now, mind you I am not against using spells, ethier for one’s gain, or for another.  Though I do agree with personal accountability.  If you do a spell/ritual and it fucks up, own up to it.  Shit happens, ya know?