Category Archives: Kink Interests

Day 7:What is your favorite toy?

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lol….They don’t ask what is your favorite sex toy or one related to BDSM, so I am going to assume both.

Floggers-The thuddy ones, thanks. When done right it feels like a deep tissue massage.  Most of the floggers I have experienced are made of leather, deer hide though there had been some buffalo too. I love it on my back….which where I have trouble with.

Favorite sex toy-I don’t really have one yet. I mean I have at least 1 that I use til it wears out and I have to get a new one to wear out.  The problem with sex stores, is that most of their stock is cheesy cheap stuff, granted what I can afford, though have been thinking of saving up for better toys, like a Hitachi Wand or the Cone, or something from Lilo.  I have gotten used to toys with a hard plastic shell and takes 3 AA batteries,2 C batteries or 2 D batteries, I am hoping that by getting better quality toys they will last longer, and that my orgasms would be just as intense. 

Butt Plugs- Also looking to try these out, I like the looks of the Pyrex glass plugs, (they are reasonably priced as well.) And have seen them at my local sex toy shop. So, I think after the holidays, I will look into getting a small plug or 2.

Cock Gag- What it is, is a gag in the shape of of a cock, to in the mouth, though there are some that are like a face dildo harness. lol.  I don’t know why this appeals to me…it just does.  An acquaintence long time ago, expressed a strong interest in seeing me in it, but we lost touch……

Collars-My longing for a collar will not go away, unfortunately, alot of the collars that my local leather shop sells, I don’t care for the look, but a few acquaintences of mine makes and sells various leather crafts, so I need to check what his stuff is.  Otherwise I will have to get from online, probably from the CollarFactory.com Wanted to get one with a leash, but a few people pointed out I could just get one of those from the pet store.   And of course want collars of different colors

Day 3: How did you discover that you were kinky?

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*Note: I am not doing these in order, and probably not gonna do all of them.*

Like most people, I have for a long time been interested in sexuality.  I used to watch the Real Sex show on HBO as a teenager and while I don’t remember off hand if they had BDSM on there, the show probably did.  So, from a young age, I felt that with the interesting wide world of kink, there is no reason why I should let my sex life get boring.

Fast Forward years later, my sex life was stagnant, never got into casual sex, and had a hard time speaking up about things I wanted to try out. Life had pretty much gotten stagnant as well, so at 30 I decided to change it up and check out the kinky community.

I am soooo glad I did! I discovered not only a bunch of new and interesting activities/lifestyle aspects, but also interesting people. I have become to be more comfy with them then the pagan community.  It’s not that the Pagan community has made me feel un welcome, though.  I feel more or less about the LGBT community, though have not done much with them as yet. 

Anywho back to kink: Before entering the kink community, I did a fair amount of research online. Started out with chatrooms, asked questions, like what websites I should check out, how do I connect with local community, what were things I should know, etc. Luckily alot of the people I talked to gave me good info.  Also had a hell of alot of cybering. lol! as well as phone.  (No…don’t ask me for my #. I now only do phone with people I know.)  The phone aspect was very appealing at 1st because it was kind of naughty, and alot of the Dom’s voices I really liked, especially this one guy from Georgia. OMG.  He had a bunch of really raunchy ideas.  Sexual Humiliation aspects like masturbating in front of someone with various objects,name calling,(which I wasn’t sure about for the longest time, but it has gained appeal.)  begging, having sex with 1 person while another is watching/waiting. gangbangs. lol.  the last few ideas, not sure I’d want to try, but if I did, it would be with Queer people only. (Bio/CIS gendered guys, NEVER GONNA HAPPEN!)

Daddy….where are you?!

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The desire to be in a Daddy/lg relationship is such a strong one for me.  It is a conflicting one for me though.  Unlike alot of people who desire similiar type of relationships, I have a good relationship with my Father. If we were to run with that theory…it would more likely be that I would look for a Mommy, as I didn’t have a good relationship with my Mother, growing up. And even though we have a better one now, it still isn’t that great.  But, even though it does tweak me alittle, most of the time it doesn’t bother me, as I like to tell myself: This Isn’t Incest Play. 

I have been trying to avoid coming up with a specific image of what I would like Daddy to be.   Been thinking about it more and more though, namely because I’ve been thinking of doing a collage spell.  Basically it is a non specific (not directed to particular person, but rather to a particular type of person.) attraction/love spell.  I have gotten as far as a list of words/aspects, and culling thru my meager collection of scrapbook stuff and cutouts from magazines to see what I could use.

Butch Female/Trans Male Dominant/Switch or Dominant Masochist BDSM Inclined Polyamorous Inclined Pagan Friendly Paganistic Beliefs Unitarian Universalist Friendly Age Range 35-55 In between Being A Homebody And A Social Butterfly Likes To Read Likes Handholding In Public Loves Animals….

The above is just some of the words/concepts I’ve been thinking of.   Poster board, maybe writing most/all the wording on folded cards,(maybe with an velcro strip, to make sure it stays closed?  I both want to just go hog wild with colors, and all that, but another part of me also wants to stick with the colors of my bedroom, sea greens and blues, brown, purple, white.  Got this neat looking paper, it is full of swirls and shapes, with areas cut out in it. Hard to explain…but it’s cool.  I’ve thought about getting that in white and sponging different colors,(like ethier the rainbow colors, or the bedroom colors.) And using that as my background. (Probably will ethier get poster board that is light blue, or green, or paint it one color.)

You maybe thinking to yourself, isn’t this going over board for just attracting a mate? I mean after all, Magick is about INTENT, not about how much $$ you can spend on materials for a spell.  Ok….true.  But I will probably do all this anyways,  it is both about the seriousness that I am treating this project and about the fun in being creative and including magickal aspects.

Spell Definition:  A spell is a spoken or written formula that when used in an act of magick is intended to cause or influence a particular course of events

But…..wouldn’t that be manipulation? Wouldn’t that be changing/trying to change someone’s will?  Now, mind you I am not against using spells, ethier for one’s gain, or for another.  Though I do agree with personal accountability.  If you do a spell/ritual and it fucks up, own up to it.  Shit happens, ya know?  

So….Switchy, Why Butch Females and Trans Males?

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A valid question though I have to admit it kinda gets my back up a bit. Given the rudeness and crap I have gotten for expressing what attracts me on a few dating sites, and networking sites. (Like Plentyoffish and Myspace.)

Are you looking for a Heterosexual dynamic? Umm. No. If I were looking for that, then I would be actively looking to date a man.

So, then….why people that ID as masculine? I like masculine energy.  Not so much the dominance, (though yes, that IS a trigger!) lol…I don’t know if I can satisfactorily put it into words. but here are a few examples: a butch that ID’s as a boi/boy, that boyish mentality or personality, kind of carefree, maybe silly at times,(after all, I can be quite girlish, and have ID’d as being a little.) rough and tumbly. Likes to burp or armpit farts.  Or playing catch in the yard/shooting hoops in the driveway. 

A Butch Female/Trans Male Top/Dom that has a certain look down pat. Alot of bottoms and submissives who are experienced know what look I mean. That “I’m gonna eat you up, with a spoon” look or the “Mmm baby, just wait til we’re alone” look. ( Now see, just writing about this is getting me wet!) The voice whispering naughty (or sometimes, not even naughty.) things in my ear. A hand caressing my throat just before breath play, or lifting my chin so I could look into their eyes.

But…..switchy, any Dominant could do that……

Generally, I’d agree with you. But, not just anyone makes me wet, or my pulse race, makes my thoughts scatter or disapear from my brain. No…for me kinkyness isn’t all or mostly about sex,sexuality, or getting wet. (snickers) After all I have a couple of friends, that regardless of gender I enjoy bottoming to, like for a flogging or spanking, or bondage. (well ok, these are male friends, but open to being topped by any gender/gender presentation.) But, when it comes to dating, and to D/s relationship, I do prefer the above…(Butch Female and Trans Male, in case ya weren’t paying attention.)  I was discussing with my sweetie just last nite about the concept of a D/s relationship that did not have a sexual componant. (like based on service aspects.) Generally, this appeals to me, on both ends.  But I did say that I couldn’t be in a non sexual D/s relationship with someone that I wanted to be sexual with.  That would be torture of the bad kind.

Maybe an occasional session of being teased, sexually..verbally, and/or with toys, sm aspects, That I could enjoy.  Now, being the top/Dom in a session or relationship and teasing, never intending to deliver, lol. YES!  I admit it, I looooooooove being a tease.  Some aspects of cuckolding appeal to me. Yes, on both ends.  Though, like I’ve hinted at above, I don’t think I would be able to handle long periods of being denied getting off. But, then….who knows what I would be able to handle? After all, there are many things I have tried that I didn’t think I would like, like flogging.  Other things I thought I would love…..ehh. so-so.

Alot of people only do what they get something out of it. Getting wet/hard is the most common.  Especially if they are able to get off eventually. 

 But, (for me, anyways) What I get out of being submissive, is turning over the control to my Dom/Daddy. Of feeling safe, protected, loved,cherished. Of Daddy being firm with me, reminding me, that they, not me is the one in charge. They make the final decision.  What I get out of topping, is (sometimes.) it is from a service aspect. usually to my sweetie, or to a friend. I am doing something they want me to do, that they crave, desire. Often times, even though I may be the one holding the flogger, it is the bottom that holds the control. Directing me to hit harder, go faster. Or not. But, also relishing the potential control I have over that person. For pleasure or for pain…hopefully both. 

LOL. As usual….this post became rambly.  *Giggles*

My BDSM Interests….

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Alright. A friend of mine talked me into listing what some of my interests in BDSM/sexual are on here. lol. And of course quite a few of these will find their way into my stories.

And most of these I am intereted in topping and bottoming.

Spanking,Flogging,Hairpulling,Bootworship,(havn’t actually tried this yet!) forced cock worship, (also curious about forced pussy worship as well.Oh and oral being done to me, does nothing for me.) Breast smothering, (Smothering someone with my boobies. MMmm lovely thought!) Breath Play. (In limited doses, and not with someone I do not know well.) Animal Play (No, not bestality. eww. I mean where someone roleplays as an animal. I am a kitty by the way.) Genital Torture, Chest/Breast Torture, Anal Play, (Butt plugs, dildos, willing to check out enemas, Sounds….) Bondage, such as Kinbaku,(Shibari is a type of Kinbaku.) As well metal bondage, whether it is just cuffs, or a metal bondage apparatus. Begging, (Bottoming only on this one. Someone begging me, just annoys me.) Tickling, (both just tickling for the hell of it, and tickle torture.) Caning, Cropping.   Fisting, (Havn’t tried it yet on ethier end. lol. no pun intended!) Edgy stuff such as knives,scapels,needles,(which I have had done, and enjoyed it.) Objectification,(like being used as an object, such as a table, footstool.  or being used as a ‘sex doll’ ) Chastity/Orgasm Control, Collar and Leash, Wax Play, Fire Play, (havn’t tried this yet.) Vacuum Stimulation, (would lovvvvvvvvvve to try this!) Cuckolding, (topping or bottoming in this type of scene.)  Daddy/lg, I am interested in being a slave, but of course with the right person.  The concept of Daddy being both Daddy and Master to me appeals to me. Switchy dynamics, (lol. That would be a mindfuck in of it’s self, Daddy telling me it’s my turn to Dominate hym. MMmmm.) As well as service topping.  Wrestling, Take Down Play, Rough Sex, Name Calling, (Slut, Bitch,etc.)Queer Poly Household appeals to me strongly. Both joining a poly household,(though not necessarily living with them.) and having a poly household. 

Somethings that I find sexy, and don’t necessarily have to do with kink, but may be talked about on here and/or incorporated into a story:

Burlesque, Drag king,Steampunk,Angels, Demons, Dragons,Gryphons, Phoenix, Kitsune, Were Beasts, Vampires,(Not into Twilight or Vampire Diaries.) Tattoos, Piercings,  Goth, Some Hippy stuff, (though I am not a pacifist.) Archery,Guns (somewhat. And no, I do not mean any sort of ‘Gun Play’ In regarding Guns I am very serious, and I adhere to protocol and safety!) Target shooting, Darts, Knife throwing, Knives and Sword collecting, (got quite a few already.) Yoga, Vegatarianism, ( Lightly and only for health reasons.) Getting a Tattoo or Piercing in a ritual setting,  sex/bdsm play in a ritual setting.  Shock Value, (probably will blog about what appeals to me about it.) Religious Discussion, (as long as the other person doesn’t try to convince me to convert.) Cults, (reading about them, watch tv shows on it.)

I like some cutsy-ish aspects of Goth/Punk. Not crazy about alot of goth-associated music,(like Trance.)  Not inclined to use hairspray, gel,mousse or any other product that could damage my hair.  Well…exept for hair dye, but have found some that are ok. Examples are ‘Mandy’ from Billy and Mandy’s Grim Adventures, ‘Elmira’ from Tiny Toons, (though don’t wanna break my toys like her, and not quite that obnoxiously cute.lol) Germaine from Foamy The Squirrel online cartoons. (I also love Animaniacs, but no direct correlation.)

Music wise- I am all over the place when it comes to music. it all depends on what I am in the mood to listen to.  Abney Park,(steampunkish look, Mid Eastern influences, Burlesque-ish at times.) Everly Brothers, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Shonen Knife,Sublime, Simon and Garfunkel, Moody Blues, Within Temptation, Omnia, 2 songs from Eluveitie, (Omnos and Brictom.) The Gathering, Pendulum, Peter, Paul and Mary, Dan Folgalberg, Crosby, Stills and Nash,(and occasionally Young.) Toby Keith, Cledus T. Judd, ‘Weird Al’ Yankovich, Nightwish, Lacuna Coil, Hammerfall, Meatloaf, Gaelic Storm, The Brobdingnagian Bards, Emerald Rose, Spiral Rhythm, Kiva, The Shining Wheel Pagan Chorus, Michelle Mays, Anne Hill, Inkubus Sukkubus, Craig Olson,……just to name a few.

Being Queer, Feminist, Kinky………..So Sue Me.*Shrugs*

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Ok. Yeah so some don’t agree with my use of the word Queer. Ethier because they find it offensive, or they don’t think it applies to me, or they don’t care for my personal definition of the word.  No Big.  

From www.wikipedia.com

Queer has traditionally meant odd or unusual, though modern use often pertains to LGBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex and non-normative heterosexual) people. Its usage is considered controversial and underwent substantial changes over the course of the 20th Century with some LGBT people re-claiming the term as a means of self-empowerment. The term is still considered by some to be offensive and derisive, and by others as a re-appropriated term used to describe a sexual orientation and/or gender identity or gender expression that does not conform to heteronormative society.

 What’s really burning my butt though, is some of the nasty notes I’ve gotten on dating sites and MySpace when I declared what types of people I’m attracted to.   This one chick had the gall to write to me and state that considering that I am into BDSM, and attracted to Butch Females and Trans Males, that in no way could I call myself a feminist. Unfortunately she blocked me, so I couldn’t write back a bitchy reply. ( I posted an slightly edited version of this rant on MySpace, hoping that a few of my friends would comment…but no. lol. I decided to post it here, without the edits, because this is too good of a topic to pass up.)

To me Feminism is about women having the same/equal rights as men.  To a certain extent (least here in the U.S.) We have won alot of the battles.   The continuence of Feminism is to make sure that what rights we have, don’t go away. And, to see about hoping women around the world have the option of similiar rights. (Depending on the Country. Like for instance, in Afganistan, Women having the option to work where they want, etc, but may have the option to wear their Veils. Education, helping women make informed decisions.)

Anyone who is for Women getting equal treatment is a Feminist, in my book. Whether they are Male,Female,GQ(GenderQueer.)Butch, Femme, Trans Males, Trans Females,Intersexed, etc.

You know what I wanted to say to that crazy woman who wrote me a note? I wanted to ask her: Well what would you call a woman who is straight and considers herself a Feminist? I mean, straight women are attracted to men…and I know I am correct…I used to be straight. *snickers*

I think I get what she was saying, reading between the lines. She was saying, that because I had commited not only the sin of falling into the heteronormative trap, but that I was encouraging the Rape culture concept by being into kink.  Wow. (Now, mind you this is speculation.)  Ok, so then by being liked to be spanked, and tied up, roughly fucked, and all that other deliciously evil stuff, I am asking to be RAPED? Is that it?! So does that further mean that because I would like to visit similiar acts on others mean that I want to be the RAPIST? Or even more, maybe I had some (unknown) trauma happen when I was young that caused me to be warped this way.  (Now, not implying there is something wrong with a person who has had a trauma and in their adult life, seeks out kink/lifestyle.  Though I do recommend that that person seek professional help before getting to deep into it.)

OHH,  HELL FUCKING NO!  Maybe it is just rationalization, and an abject refusal to see things that way. I don’t really give a shit if it is.